Unit 10 - Reassessment

Unit 10 - Reassessment

Hi Everyone,
For the unit 3 assessment I rated myself at a 7 psychologically, spiritually, and physically.  The goals set forth to further my development included weight-loss, attending yoga regularly, bike riding, deeper meditation, and a mind that is more still and calm.  I have lost close to 10 pounds during this course, have begun to attend yoga regularly, and am meditating semi-regularly, but need to go deeper.  I would still rate myself at a 7 in all areas because I feel that those 3 points between 7 and 10 account for the maintenance and refinement that my process requires.  Therefore, 8 is much higher than 7, and will take me a while to get to!
Misti

Unit 9 - Sharing Final Project/Assessment

Unlike a history lesson that can be lectured upon, the dynamic nature of the integral approach necessitates it is lived, in order to be effectively shared.  As children have difficulty respecting parents who espouse the unevolved rhetoric “do as I say, not as I do”, the integral approach will not resonate with clients if practitioners are not living it.  Therefore, developing psychologically, spiritually, and physically is vital for a practitioner.  Development in all aspects of life helps free us from the limiting ego that reinforces separation from others.  Being person-centered is essential to the integral approach, and can only be accomplished if the ego has been subdued, as the preferred therapies and perspective of the practitioner must be set aside while deeply listening.  Being person-centered allows a connection to occur that honors the client’s knowledge of his or her own body/mind/spirit, and their preferences for treatment. (Dacher, 2006)

Meditation is the area that continues to be a priority for my development, as I feel the other areas are “under control”, steadily heading in the right direction having become habit.  However, meditation is the area that I still feel some resistance to, and am working my way up to doing more.  This course has helped me to understand the relationship to meditation and psychospiritual development, and that placing this on the backburner is not a viable option if achieving unity consciousness is the ultimate goal.  Fortunately, my chosen spiritual home offers classes that will further development.  In fact, there is a meditation group run by one of the prayer practitioners from the center I attend.   Last week we discussed forming a group that meets in the morning, as the evening is not conducive to the needs of many of us, which is why I have not been able to attend thus far.  My sincere interest in developing this aspect will no doubt open the way for me to do so. 

Assessing the various domains of my life has been an encouraging process.  The integral approach was instigated in my life prior the beginning this course (thought it did not have a name), and has been clearly defined, and refined, throughout this course.  Being a member of the Centers for Spiritual Living, classes taken there, along with Sunday services, have prepared my mind for information received during this course.  The integral approach reinforces what was previously learned, adds depth by revealing specific science that validates mind/body/spirit approaches (i.e. the Pert Study), and provides meditations that leave nothing to chance for expansion of consciousness.  (Dacher, 2006)

While contemplating numeric ratings of physical, spiritual, and psychological progress, it dawned on me that despite traveling different paths at varying rates, they have converged and are now essentially progressing at the same rate, with seven being where I would place in each category.  Interestingly, growing up studying the Bible I was taught that the numbers three and seven represented completeness, which did not initially cross my mind while rating, but believe the symbolism is applicable.  Progress in these three areas is at a point where self-awareness has become a baseline allowing acknowledgement of aspects needing improvement.  The ability to witness moments of regression without judgment, and proceed to make needed adjustments, has led to a steadiness previously unknown to me.  These changes have completely taken root, blossomed, borne some fruit, some has ripened, but time is needed for more of the fruit to mature.  In time, this process will likely bring forth fruit of which seeds I am not even aware I possess.  The three degrees of separation involves maintenance of what has been accomplished, strengthening, and refining to reach the next levels of development.  Those last three number placements are represent a practice in completeness, therefore, when reaching ten, the marrying of the two numbers adds further to the symbolism. 

The physical progress achieved has enabled steady weight loss and maintenance during the holiday season by balance be woven into my life.  Without being on a diet, my nutritional knowledge has finally sunk in so that I am maintaining healthy patterns.  These changes have my whole body feeling healthier, and weight-loss is occurring!  Psychologically a steadiness has developed that allows the existence of a more even-tempered baseline.  Anxiety was a big issue the week class started, but coping skills already known were revisited, and new ones gained.  Spiritually, I continue to try to view all people as part of God, but have a few individuals that make this challenging; they are my teachers.  Thankfully, more tools to accomplish oneness have been provided through this course, and I definitely have been making good use of them, especially the loving-kindness affirmation:

            “May all individuals gain freedom from suffering.

            May all individuals find sustained health, happiness, and wholeness.

            May I assist all individuals in gaining freedom from suffering.

            May I assist all individuals in finding health, happiness, and wholeness” (Dacher, 2006, P.93). 

            An immediate goal for further development is extending more patience and loving-kindness to my son, whose high-functioning autism and mood disorder is challenging for me.  Being the only parent at home most of the time, burnout has occurred, and at times my impatience with his perseverations is palpable.  Believing I am also on the autism spectrum, I see my own sensory issues, and tendency to do be nitpicky, creep up on me in dealing with my son, which has the potential to harm his ability to communicate with me.   One of his counselors is helping me navigate these communication issues with excellent ideas for compromise.

Communication, that has loving-kindness and respect as its foundation, is my goal for psychological and spiritual development.  As a child, the psychological wounds inflicted on me via unhealthy communication of various forms, and lack thereof, has had negative outcomes for spiritual development as well.  It is not possible to develop past a certain point spiritually if honor is not being shown to others on such a basic level.    My son not only repeats things because he obsesses, he also double and triple checks how to do things because of anxiety and self-doubt; there is no need for me to verbally express frustration in this area, when all he needs is a “yes”, not a “yes, like we always do it”, or something else that is rude.  This tendency has caused difficulties in many relationships in my life, yet, because it was modeled for me, I do behave this way when frustrated and feeling past the point of coping.  Today after reverting to this behavior, the witnessing consciousness was employed, and how freeing that was!  Being able to observe myself without judgment cleared the way for me to see how to easily correct my behavior.  Reassuring him with love is all that is needed; “yes” said with a mother’s love is what is called. 

            Thinking on it further, this goal covers the physical aspect, too, as the stress of poor communication negatively impacts the immune system, and contributes to compulsive eating.  It occurs to me that quite often when one significant puzzle piece is found and put into place, it can connect all needed components for me to move to the next phase of development in multiple areas of life.  That is how I feel about communicating with loving-kindness, which I have already made great progress in with all my relationships, but see areas that need refinement as described previously.  This main goal will support  me to developing a calmer mind (psychological), a more expansive sense of unity that puts others at ease (spiritually), as well as continued weight-loss and regularly exercising (physical).

            Ideas for accomplishing personal health strategies are as follows:

1.      Physical: Weight-loss

a.       Walking

b.      Yoga

c.       Eating healthfully

d.      Meditation

2.      Psychological: Calm mind

a.       Walking

b.      Yoga

c.       Proper sleep

d.      Meditation

3.      Spiritual: Silent Meditation

a.       Walking

b.      Clean personal space (bedroom)

c.       Less technology

d.      Regular use of spoken meditation

As illustrated in the outline above, the exercises to meet each goal tend to overlap, as do the physical, psychological, and spiritual aspects themselves; the interconnectedness of life is again perceived.

            Commitment to change has taken root, but vigilance is needed to keep out the “inner gophers” that attempt to undo the planting, or the “dogs” that can do it from the outside.  Assessing my progress in six months will involve seeing where my weight is, as this is an all-encompassing reflection of where I stand.  The peace in my house is another gauge by which to assess by progress, as the atmosphere is directly touched by my spirituality.  My children’s weight, health, peace, and expansiveness are a measure of my own.  Therefore, staying aware and in touch with their attitudes allows me to see myself, what is being done well, and where adjustments are needed.  Critical to these efforts is remembering to assess by means of the witnessing consciousness: not judging, just observing and adjusting. (Dacher, 2006)

References

Dacher, E. (2006).  Integral health: the path to human flourishing. P.93. Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publications, Inc.

Unit 8 - Review
Hello,
Last week's loving-kindness affirmation exercise, and this week's exercise involving the contemplation of memories specifically related to feeling happiness, wholeness, are my favorite meditations.  The loving-kindness affirmative prayer was done for the whole ten minutes, and has since been repeated on several occasions in brief spurts to realign my mind becoming negative.  This has been especially helpful when a person or situation elicits negative mental chatter and emotions.  The memory exercise was not completed as suggested, but was done in a condensed manner while reading the text, which is described in this week's discussion board. Good memories marred by some negative aspects can potentially be cherished once again, or for the first time, by this exercise.  Because these meditations resonate with me, it's more likely they will be done on a regular basis, as the comfort provided will build tolerance for the practices that are difficult for me.
Misti

Unit 7 - Meeting Aesclepius
Hi Everyone,
Honestly, I find this meditation to be excessively long, but maybe that is because I am not used to meditating yet.  The meditations have helped me overall, along with the information in the text books, to be more conscious and aware of my thought process.  Last night I realized that I was drifting to a negative place, and took action to correct it.  I used the loving-kindness meditation from Unit 6, which realigned me into the more positive direction that I desire to head.  This morning I made went to a yoga class which I intend to do so regularly, realizing such action will help me continue on the road to integral health.
 "One cannot lead another where one has not gone him or herself" (Schlitz, Amorok, & Micozzi, 2005, P.477).  To truly help a client, I must demonstrate that I can help myself, have been, and am continuing to do so.  The path to integral health is not a simple "walk in the park", it's a hike, filled with steep mountains, valleys, hills, plateaus, even mudslides.  Anytime you are dealing with the spirit, "stuff" comes up that needs to be dealt with in order to integrate body, mind, and spirit.  Guiding someone successfully along this path requires that you have traveled it, much like a substance abuse counselor should be a recovering addict.
The best way for me to continue implementing integral health practices is to have my goals for the future while staying present-minded, taking each day as it comes, and trying to incorporate some form of meditation that resonates with me.
Thank you,
Misti

Unit 6 - Integral Assessment and Loving-kindness Affirmation Exercise

Hello Everyone,
What I found from charting out and completing the integral assessment was that my development in each aspect has gone over the line into the "spirit" sphere.  I wouldn't shade them in up to the top, that's for sure, but my awareness and personal development has at least crossed that edge.  Even though I am not able to devote great quantities of time and energy to endeavors like social activism, I still do my part (I did the March Against Monsanto this year), and the part that I do is stems from a motivation that takes me over the "spirit" line. Regarding work, I am not in the paying workforce, but the work that I do for my family I am infusing with love, and finding joy in my tasks, making everything a spiritual endeavor.  Even generativity can be done without having fully embarked on my career yet, as I teach my children healthy habits on the levels of mind/body/spirit, changing the future generations of my family for the better.
The emotional area in the psychospiritual quadrant and the overlap in the personal, family, and community within the interpersonal quadrant is where I see myself needing more work.  Often times these areas are affected when the biological quadrant's self-regulation and nutrition is suffering.  Getting enough sleep and eating right are important for my emotional health, as is consistent exercise, showing the relationship between all the lines and quadrants.
The loving-kindness affirmation exercise was easier for me to do than the other exercises we've been assigned.  It brought more peace to me, and I felt more energized after having completed it.  The wording is a great reminder of the oneness we should want to make our goal to achieve.
All the best,
Misti

Unit 5 The Subtle Mind

Hi Everyone,

The Loving-kindness exercise was harder for me physically, with my back hurting as I sat on the floor.  It was also more difficult because there were words to focus on.

Last Thursday I attempted this exercise, but only made it halfway through, since the downloading took longer than anticipated, and I had to get my kids up for school.  It wasn't until this morning that I was able to do it, and I had some difficulty with my cats.  They were crying outside before I started, so I let them in, but they ended up running around, jumping over me and playing with anything and everything they could, including each other.  I imagined I was on a street in Calcutta, with noisy children playing near me, and tried to continue.  While doing the exercise I noticed my mind wandering to and from some stressful individuals who have been in my thoughts for varying reasons.  I did my best to pull myself back to the focus of my breathing.  All in all the meditation was beneficial,allowing me the clarity to find a middle ground on a delicate situation involving my mother.  

The next time I do a meditation it should be easier, as I know where to sit that works for my back, and the time of day that works best.  My schedule was off yesterday and today from a house guest, however I'm confident the difficulties I've experienced during this beginning phase of meditation are have already served to refine how I proceed, and will continue to. For me to feel well mentally and physically, the spiritual aspect is essential.  Without it, I know from past experience that those aspects of my health are not sustainable.  Walking proves to help me on all three of those levels, and I look forward to it, knowing the immediate benefits I receive.

Thanks for reading,

\Misti

Unit 4
The loving-kindness exercise was a mixed bag for me.  Happily, I found that the person that came to mind to "hold with great love and tenderness", was my husband!  A few years ago it would not have been possible for him to be the first person into my mind; it was beneficial to realize on a deeper level how far we have traveled in the right direction. The exercise was also difficult for me.  Sometimes I get caught up on words, and because I don't feel like I have enemies,that part of the exercise through me off.  I modified it so that I thought of people that have may still have an issue with me, though I've moved on from an feeling of enemy status toward them.  It did, however, make me question whether I should reach out to one of these people...still not sure, but as I practice this exercise more, the answer will come to me.  I also found the exercise a bit difficult for my back, but know it is workable.  Just a lot of little things that distracted me, which illustrated the need for practice!
The comparison of efforts toward mental workout with the commitment needed to earn a PhD or train for the Olympics is a great way to look at things.  To the beginner, like myself, working on a meditation exercise the importance of consistency in mental workouts become clear as the mind easily wanders away.  The effects of regularly scheduled contemplative practice provides short-term benefits, which most experience on some level even on the first go round.  Research (like the Lutz study) shows long-term changes in gamma wave brain activity can occur, thereby changing our default settings toward loving-kindness and compassion. The best way for me to add regular contemplative practice into my life is by waking up at least 45 minutes than my son.  I can see huge benefits for my entire family by doing this.  Not only will it help me accomplish the inner work on myself needed to continue on the path to integral health, it will bring a deeper sense of peace into the home early in the day.
Misti

Unit 3 

Hi Everyone,

Wow!!! What a day! What a week!  Extremely busy, a bit stressful, but overall quite fulfilling when looked at through my optimistic glasses!  This hamster wheel of activity has me feeling like my warm night gown and Tempurpedic bed are my best friends in the whole, wide world!  Despite a crazy week, it was encouraging to read Unit 3's texts, discovering I'm already applying most of what I am reading, and can see where improvement is needed.  Being part of a spiritual group for the last 5 years that teaches so much of what we are learning in class helped me grow.  

 Rating my physical well-being I would give myself a 7, because although issues do exist that can cause bad days that I might rate as a 3, they are less and less, as I continue my spiritual transformation.   My spiritual well-being is currently rated at a 7.   My ability to consistently respond with loving-kindness to a few people has held my progress back.  However, the development of the witnessing mind is helping me improve in this area.  Psychologically I am doing better than I was a month ago by distancing myself from the people I just referred to.  I’d rate myself at a 7 in that area, too. 

My physical goals include: continued weight loss, yoga at the gym, and some nice fall bike rides.  Spiritually, my goal is to find a way to more deeply connect with Spirit, or God. Meditation is a practice that should help me with this goal.   I have been deeply wounded by religion, to the point of being disowned by my father, and shunned by former friends.  My spirituality is going to stay below the 10 rating until I can reconcile my feelings.  I’m not lost or adrift anymore, but do have a blockage, so to speak.     My psychological goal is to incorporate silence and stillness of the mind into my life; attaining this goal will elevate my well-being in the other two areas.   Again, meditation will assist in accomplishing this goal.

The relaxation exercise for this week was another step toward being able to train myself quiet my mind. The most difficult part of relaxation exercises for me is the deep breathing, because it feels uncomfortable and unnatural.  As a young child, I never learned to “breathe right” due to enlarged tonsils and adenoids.  Being a mouth breather, I actually feel a sense of anxiety when trying to do deep breathing.  I realize, though, that I have to those feelings, and that it will become easier.  It is easier than it used to be, but still uncomfortable to an extent.  Despite a few interruptions, I really liked the relaxation exercise, was able to manage the breathing, a found the visualizations of the spectrum of colors, corresponding areas of the body, and the descriptions of what was represented to be meaningful for me.  It is an exercise I will do again; especially when no one else is around to interrupt me!

Peace to you all,

Misti

Hello Everyone,
Although relaxing with energizing seeming to be the ultimate goal of the Journey On relaxation exercise, I could see such an exercise helping with insomnia.  I choose to lie down on the sofa in my family room with the lights off, and in the adjoining living room, I had only a strand of white Christmas lights on.  My son was asleep, and my daughter in her room doing home work.  Millie, my kitten, was nearby on the top of the sofa. The time, place, and position one chooses to do this exercise in would have a bearing on the outcome, and I did this exercise at 8:30 on a Sunday evening when I was already tired.  Even though I did not feel energized, I found the exercise quite relaxing and could definitely see it having an energizing effect on me earlier in the day.
Participating in this exercise and feeling the minds powerful effects on my arms and hands, I was reminded of a recent experience in which my mind's inability to process stress made me ill, and saved me.  During a severe, and life-changing anxiety attack one week prior to starting this course, I was nauseous, sweating profusely, and loosing consciousness.   This happened at restaurant, and a friend walked me to the restroom, and managed sit me on the toilet in handicapped stall just before my legs gave out.   People thought I was having a heart attack, or was diabetic, and called 911.  As I was loosing consciousness on the toilet of a Chinese Buffet I didn't really want to go to, I felt my friends fear and heard it in her voice as she was telling me, "Don't do this, Misti...stay with me".  Suddenly, I summoned all the inner-strength I could muster, and willed myself not to die (which is what it felt like was happening).  I started speaking to myself, much like the relaxation exercise, and I started to come out of it.  By the time the paramedics arrived, I knew I was okay, and the test at the ER showed nothing life-threatening.
The mind's phenomenal powers of healing, and/or harming our body's are not "just in your mind"; neuropeptides imprinted with the stress or serenity of the mind, circulate throughout the body causing damage or promoting healing.   With the recent experiences that led to the anxiety attack, and the subsequent efforts toward healing, I am going to keep doing relaxation exercise.