Unit 5 The Subtle Mind

Hi Everyone,

The Loving-kindness exercise was harder for me physically, with my back hurting as I sat on the floor.  It was also more difficult because there were words to focus on.

Last Thursday I attempted this exercise, but only made it halfway through, since the downloading took longer than anticipated, and I had to get my kids up for school.  It wasn't until this morning that I was able to do it, and I had some difficulty with my cats.  They were crying outside before I started, so I let them in, but they ended up running around, jumping over me and playing with anything and everything they could, including each other.  I imagined I was on a street in Calcutta, with noisy children playing near me, and tried to continue.  While doing the exercise I noticed my mind wandering to and from some stressful individuals who have been in my thoughts for varying reasons.  I did my best to pull myself back to the focus of my breathing.  All in all the meditation was beneficial,allowing me the clarity to find a middle ground on a delicate situation involving my mother.  

The next time I do a meditation it should be easier, as I know where to sit that works for my back, and the time of day that works best.  My schedule was off yesterday and today from a house guest, however I'm confident the difficulties I've experienced during this beginning phase of meditation are have already served to refine how I proceed, and will continue to. For me to feel well mentally and physically, the spiritual aspect is essential.  Without it, I know from past experience that those aspects of my health are not sustainable.  Walking proves to help me on all three of those levels, and I look forward to it, knowing the immediate benefits I receive.

Thanks for reading,

\Misti

Unit 4
The loving-kindness exercise was a mixed bag for me.  Happily, I found that the person that came to mind to "hold with great love and tenderness", was my husband!  A few years ago it would not have been possible for him to be the first person into my mind; it was beneficial to realize on a deeper level how far we have traveled in the right direction. The exercise was also difficult for me.  Sometimes I get caught up on words, and because I don't feel like I have enemies,that part of the exercise through me off.  I modified it so that I thought of people that have may still have an issue with me, though I've moved on from an feeling of enemy status toward them.  It did, however, make me question whether I should reach out to one of these people...still not sure, but as I practice this exercise more, the answer will come to me.  I also found the exercise a bit difficult for my back, but know it is workable.  Just a lot of little things that distracted me, which illustrated the need for practice!
The comparison of efforts toward mental workout with the commitment needed to earn a PhD or train for the Olympics is a great way to look at things.  To the beginner, like myself, working on a meditation exercise the importance of consistency in mental workouts become clear as the mind easily wanders away.  The effects of regularly scheduled contemplative practice provides short-term benefits, which most experience on some level even on the first go round.  Research (like the Lutz study) shows long-term changes in gamma wave brain activity can occur, thereby changing our default settings toward loving-kindness and compassion. The best way for me to add regular contemplative practice into my life is by waking up at least 45 minutes than my son.  I can see huge benefits for my entire family by doing this.  Not only will it help me accomplish the inner work on myself needed to continue on the path to integral health, it will bring a deeper sense of peace into the home early in the day.
Misti

Unit 3 

Hi Everyone,

Wow!!! What a day! What a week!  Extremely busy, a bit stressful, but overall quite fulfilling when looked at through my optimistic glasses!  This hamster wheel of activity has me feeling like my warm night gown and Tempurpedic bed are my best friends in the whole, wide world!  Despite a crazy week, it was encouraging to read Unit 3's texts, discovering I'm already applying most of what I am reading, and can see where improvement is needed.  Being part of a spiritual group for the last 5 years that teaches so much of what we are learning in class helped me grow.  

 Rating my physical well-being I would give myself a 7, because although issues do exist that can cause bad days that I might rate as a 3, they are less and less, as I continue my spiritual transformation.   My spiritual well-being is currently rated at a 7.   My ability to consistently respond with loving-kindness to a few people has held my progress back.  However, the development of the witnessing mind is helping me improve in this area.  Psychologically I am doing better than I was a month ago by distancing myself from the people I just referred to.  I’d rate myself at a 7 in that area, too. 

My physical goals include: continued weight loss, yoga at the gym, and some nice fall bike rides.  Spiritually, my goal is to find a way to more deeply connect with Spirit, or God. Meditation is a practice that should help me with this goal.   I have been deeply wounded by religion, to the point of being disowned by my father, and shunned by former friends.  My spirituality is going to stay below the 10 rating until I can reconcile my feelings.  I’m not lost or adrift anymore, but do have a blockage, so to speak.     My psychological goal is to incorporate silence and stillness of the mind into my life; attaining this goal will elevate my well-being in the other two areas.   Again, meditation will assist in accomplishing this goal.

The relaxation exercise for this week was another step toward being able to train myself quiet my mind. The most difficult part of relaxation exercises for me is the deep breathing, because it feels uncomfortable and unnatural.  As a young child, I never learned to “breathe right” due to enlarged tonsils and adenoids.  Being a mouth breather, I actually feel a sense of anxiety when trying to do deep breathing.  I realize, though, that I have to those feelings, and that it will become easier.  It is easier than it used to be, but still uncomfortable to an extent.  Despite a few interruptions, I really liked the relaxation exercise, was able to manage the breathing, a found the visualizations of the spectrum of colors, corresponding areas of the body, and the descriptions of what was represented to be meaningful for me.  It is an exercise I will do again; especially when no one else is around to interrupt me!

Peace to you all,

Misti